Her

Do you ever think of me in a positive light?
or is it always the night
when you have a drink and think
whatever happened to ‘what’s his name’ from back then
does your husband know

you have an attraction to black men?
questions he hasn’t been askin
reflection seems like perfection

of what we had then
What happened?
you were my first love
and my last friend
memories of energies I haven’t had since
it doesnt add up

and it doesn’t make that much sense
it’s been too long
you’re too gone
I’m too strong to do wrong
but I can’t let go
and I can’t move on
congratulations, you’re a new mom
and congratulations to your dude, John
Forgive me.
I’m bringing up things you probably wouldn’t want her to remember
I swear I try to forget her
and how I would lift her
over my shoulders

and throw her on the bed

and then I would hold her, sober
just before October
Just before I showed her
what I should have told her
before we both got older
when I use to know her