Girls were slowly starting to notice me. Alexis’s older sister saw me hanging with the Crew and said: “What happened to him? He used to be a nerd!” Everyone laughed but I took it as a compliment. I knew I was evolving.
It was crazy. The only black kid who, wasn’t good at sports or academia, wasn’t liked and always in trouble, never got the girl and couldn’t fight. Yet somehow I was becoming popular. All I had to do was sell my soul.
It was right around then I got over of my childhood crush on Alexis. There were too many other girls in high school. One in particular had my attention, Sarah.
I have a theory. When a dude really likes a girl, she likes him too. Now granted, it may be like a 90/10 split sometimes, but still. There’s something about really wanting something, like really wanting it, that opens a path for you to get it; manifestation. I don’t only mean romantically.
Napoleon Hill’s mind-blowing classic, Think and Grow Rich devotes an entire chapter to the transmutation of sexual energy. This basically explains why dudes get super creative all of a sudden when they’re trying to get laid. That same energy can be directed into anything. But love is where it starts, it’s where we first become aware of it.
Sarah was grade older than me. I never said a word to her. I’d see her in the hallways but didn’t know her name. There was no reason she would’ve known who I was. But somehow, from the few moments I’d steal eye contact, I had this suspicion she liked me back. I didn’t know if it was intuition, wishful thinking, or if there’s a difference – but I felt it.
Maybe she didn’t like me. Maybe I was so radiant and energized by how she made me feel that I was emitting light particles biochemically only she could detect. Maybe the rhythmic nature of the universe was able to sync through these frequencies which compelled her to drift into my orbit. I don’t know how she made it into this story but here she is…
Though I was gaining notoriety, there was a hierarchy among the notorious, and I was at the bottom. At the top of that hierarchy was Rick, Sarah’s boyfriend.
Except for being black, Rick was everything I wasn’t; good at sports, popular with girls, admired by dudes – even I looked up to him. But him dating Sarah put them nail in the coffin of my hopes of dating her. So I thought.